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The 15 Rules of the Alps
 
 
   
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Alps members:

1. Must declare in advance the things they are unwilling to do by filling out Form (e.g. kissing, lifting weights, travelling etc.)
2. Must declare in advance the things they are good at by filling out Form (e.g. dancing, waterskiing, discussing etc.)
3. Must have some basic knowledge of psychology and sociology.
4. Are obliged to support, under all circumstances, the interests of the Alps group.
5. Must respect each other.
6. Have the right to change their nickname only twice. They cannot choose a nickname belonging to another Alps member. The nickname must strictly be the name of a mountain in the Alps, and not something general or irrelevant (e.g. Blonde, Master, Dragon etc.)
7. Can never talk about Alps activities with non-Alps members.
8. Are obliged to take the Gymnastics Club Test, if necessary.
9. Must be over 14 years of age.
10. Should always be smart, clean, punctual, and in complete control.
11. Must never get emotionally involved with clients, or have intimate relations with them.
12. Cannot change their physical appearance without the Leader’s permission (e.g. dye hair, lose or gain weight, wear coloured contact lenses etc.)
13. Must be able to make convincing facial expressions (sadness, happiness, despair etc.)
14. Must honour the title of their membership, and be ready to kill or die for it.
15. Must never attack one another, and must believe in teamwork.

Mont Blanc, Leader of the Alps group
January 2008
 
 
 
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