After 2 years, I returned home to Belgrade, Serbia from New York. I returned soon after the Anti-Gay protests and riots of 2010. It broke my heart see that people in Belgrade remained intolerant towards the LGTBQ community.Several months after, four transvestites from Belgrade decided to go in public with the theatre performance and bring visibility to their group. They asked for help from Drop in Center for sex workers who gathered the artists to participate in this unique project for Belgrade. At the meeting Goca said she wanted to ‘become visible so she can live in the open as others do’ and that people judge her without even knowing her. I found out how difficult the situation of transsexual people in Serbia is, living on the margins of society. The stepping out moved me and I felt it a a historical moment for Serbia and I wanted to participate by documenting an aspect of it. I had started to film everyday life and rehearsals of the four brave people trying to express themselves in an artistic manner. After six months I realized that I didn’t went deep enough to understand their characters as I wanted, so I decided to go further with just one character with the idea to make authentic and deep film. I chose Goca whom I admired from the beginning and identify with. What makes her so special is that she is also a “mother” to her niece whom she raised from the early years. At the same time Goca continued with the theatre performances and was in preparation for the cabaret within the same project together with the young artists who were helping her out. This made it easier for me to continue shooting and have a natural arc. Her life was at the breaking point. She turned 39, her daughter was about to start living on her own and she was constantly having problems with her boyfriend. As a cinematographer/director I spent a lot of time with Goca, recording moments of her life in the cinema vérité style. I felt how being in Goca’s skin was difficult and how she somehow found a balance, to raise a child and to be brave enough to come out in public. I was lucky to attend rough cut workshop with great Danish editor Jasper Osmund at MakeDox Festival in Skopje, and to have amazing editor in Belgrade, JelenaMaksimovic. After six months of sweating in editing room, we made a film.
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